Between the stallsAmung the sinks and filthy tiles
I stay between two dirty walls
I really just need to be here alone
No where but here amung the bathroom stalls.
As I sit upon the toilet lid
I can see the water between my knees
I glare into this toilet bowl
And all I find is a circular sea.
I watch as they drip again and again
The tears come streaming down my cheek
They fall into the bowl directly below
And vanish into the water so bleak.
This is the place I come to hide
This is the place I always go
Where theres a place I can be myself
And not my emotions' puppet show.
I hear the tap of my shoes echo the room
But its shushed asleep by the sound of the flush
This way I can drown my emotions dead
To finally get them to shut up and hush.
I use my sleeves to wipe my eyes
And walk out from between these walls
I walk with nothing but a smile to show
Like nothing happened, even at all
SuicidalHow could you know?
How could you possibly understand?
The hurt I feel,
With a blade in my hand.
I hunger for pain,
It cuts deep in my veins,
Crying every night--
Don't come closer,
I might just bite!
Blood gushing and rushing out,
Makes me want to scream and shout
Anger inside, I'm nearly fried.
I shouldn't be here, I shouldn't exist,
I beat myself up with my fists.
Bruises on my face,
I run or I'll be chased.
The sirens are blaring
*Shit!* I start swearing.
In my pocket I pull out a rope
Because I know that for me there's no hope.
Tie it to the bridge, then goes my neck,
Turn my head side to side, just to check.
Jump off without hesitation, it's getting late,
Black tears come from my eyes, black tears of hate.
I wish my eyes were a mirrorI wish my eyes were a mirror
so you can see you as i see
your heart was crushed by an image
built by a cruel society
I wish my eyes were a mirror
So that i may help you to believe
that what they say is lies
and show you how you are to me
I wish my Heart could speak clearer
to help you understand
that you are the only person
that can fill my empty hands
I wish i could be your savior
Wipe away your fresh tears
i would gently say i love you
as i hold you through the years
And i wish my soul was a healer
to undo all of the pain
Make all their hostile efforts
finally end in vain
But to you im just a stranger
or "Just friends at best"
because you fear that i will hurt you
just like all the rest
So i wish my eyes were a mirror
So you can see you as i see
And ill continue to count the days
until you become one with me.
The one who loved you the most (Goodbye)I suppose that i played all my cards
And still it has ended like this
but somehow im able to smile
even though you chose to be his
Do you remember not to long ago
We hung out all day at the park
you told me to "never stop writing"
and one day id be loved for my art
Well this is my last one to you
Anymore would fail to reach your ears
And it hurts to have to say goodbye
After all of our prosperous years
But I suppose that love really changes us
Hell, you changed me more everyday
You shown me what it's like to have a purpose
and to not be the one cast astray
But through all this I still find a smile
Because i know now that this is your choice
And there is nothing i can do to change that
Nothing 'cept the power of God's voice...
But Now as i take my leave
And the tears start to reach the floor
Don't cry, just remember me always
As the one who loved you the most...
A Child's TragedyFling yourself off the swingset,
Hold your head to the sky
Spread your arms wide apart--
You said you wanted to fly
Soar like an eagle
Shooting up towards the clouds
A beautiful angel
Who feels oddly proud
Dear mommy, dear daddy:
Don't be so glum.
I've climbed the highest mountain,
I sit on God's thumb!
He said to not feel burdened
For the cards that were dealt;
I just wanted to be happier
Than how I'd always felt
Sugar Coated LiesSometimes in love
you are the only one to try
You do everything you can
to see that person smile
You are there when they need you
and wait when they go away
Even though you're left to fight alone
when the darkness calls your name
You are charming and funny
but you leave no doubt in mind
that the lover that you call yours
is the best you'll ever find
Your doubts about your lover
that sprout when they are away
disappear with a little love and affection
And hopes that they are back to stay
But alas they are off for whatever again
And you always wondered why
It's because the little love you share
are really sugar coated lies